I told my doctor the on Friday that me stopping my depression medication this close to the release of my second book was probably not a good idea. Yes, we wanted to see if the medication was causing me to have a headache for more then two months, but to me the timing was off. I held more fear in not being on the medication since it helped me out of the downward spiral that I was in. I listened to the doctor and later that day I poured my fears out to my closet friends regarding my fear of being taken off my medication. They helped me see that this could be a very good thing and to not fear what I could not control. I was beyond grateful for all the help and calming talks my friends gave me.
Yesterday I was regretting the decision to be off my medication. I was happy and looking forward to the release of the book and my trip to see some wonderful friends on my way to Vegas. It hurt me to make the decision I had to post pone the release of Lucian’s Angel. I felt like I was betraying my friend’s who helped me and my fans. I worked so hard for things to get done on time and then I had to say “Sorry, the book is not coming out in two weeks.” I literally sat on my bed bawling like a baby. Then the messages from two wonderful friends came to me at the same time on my phone. One via Facebook inbox, the other a text message. They both started to calm me down as more messages came from other friends.
I am very grateful to have such wonderful friends who are just a short drive away, and friends who are not even in this state, but they feel like they are just next door to me. Who helped me when I felt like I was a complete failure, to rise above the pain and anger and to move on from them. My list is long of all the wonderful people who helped me through the tough decision yesterday. I will not name you all, you know who you are and you know just how grateful I am to have you all has friends in my life.
So I am on the hunt again, I am in a lot better mood then I was yesterday. I will not let the actions of one or more persons to effect who I am or where my life is going. Like my phoenix tattoo I will rise from the pain and anger and move on with my life.
Lucian’s Angel will be released in September some time. I am still going to be attending the Romance Novel Convention in Las Vegas.
Thank you everyone again for helping me!!!